I think socially it’s more acceptable if someone excuses himself to go for a cigarette than saying, umm, listen I need a minute because… what exactly? A break from you, your company, the people around me? Especially if your Dad was an introvert.

I smoked for a very long time since I was 14. I’m not proud of it, but I don’t blame myself for doing it. I quit 1,5 years ago. I just wish I could have done it before — long before.

I like honest and vulnerable writing and yours truly is one. My grandfather died at 80 a few years ago. He smoked all of his life, and even in the end, he would beg my dad for a cigarette when he was feeling really shit. My dad didn’t quit but smokes less at least.

I’m not a psychologist or anything, but given your experience and memories, you’re probably always going to resent a boyfriend for smoking — even if subconsciously — but I would say try to encourage them or give them a reason to quit.

Thanks for sharing, Emma!

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Freelance Grinder. Staff writer at Looper. Bylines: Paste Mag, Humungus, and more. You can find me tweeting about pop culture at 2 AM (@akospeterbencze)

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Akos Peterbencze

Akos Peterbencze

Freelance Grinder. Staff writer at Looper. Bylines: Paste Mag, Humungus, and more. You can find me tweeting about pop culture at 2 AM (@akospeterbencze)